Getting closer

Just like the rest of the of the adoption blogging reading/writing population, I spend my share of time looking for clues that give away the approximate date on which we will receive our referral. My motives fluctuate from practical, to irrational, to obsessive control freak, but what remains the same is the incisive need to know. When I was pregnant with Marina I was told that the due date was merely a guesstimate, and that she should be born earlier or later, and that it was more likely going to be later. It was 7 days later, but I didn't mind so much because for one, I knew that she was safe inside my womb, and secondly, I wasn't quite ready to give up my sleep, freedom, and lack of responsibility yet. In fact, a couple of days after my due date, I was in a very small fender-bender and the doctor on duty asked me if it was "okay to just induce labor since you are overdue anyway." I just about had a panic attack and told her I wasn't anywhere ready to have a baby. Five days later I was ready and she was born.

Today I am ready, and I don't really think you give up anything but juvenile selfishness when you have a baby. I know Celeste will present new challenging opportunities for our family, but I also know those go hand in hand with the many more joyful and fantastic journeys. What I don't know is when those adventures will begin. I am filled with anticipation, and hence I do all in my power to figure out when Celeste will be home.

According to my calculations, it is taking about 12-13 weeks to receive an infant girl referral. Now, I've asked Mary and she stated that all awaiting families are put in order of when their paperwork was completed. However that doesn't really mean that families receive their referrals in the same order. Oftentimes, children will be assigned to a family but all the medical assessments and eligibility has to be checked before that family receives word. Sometimes a family will receive a referral before another that was before them, because their baby's paperwork comes through quicker, not because they were paired up sooner. 140 Gladney families are currently in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. That doesn't mean that they are all in the waiting stage, only that they are somewhere in the process.

Some time ago when the Bottomlys received their referral, I said that I felt like they were leaving the gym and we were barely getting to it. Well, we are finally in the showers about to leave our emotional gym and join the Bottomlys and all the others in the everyday life with new family members.

Waiting

All we do is wait, and it seems that everyone else is also waiting. This entire process is about waiting. There are so many moments of just waiting. Fernando and I have been lucky, I guess, because we didn't have to wait to have children. Marina came into our lives just as we planned, so our wait is very different. But now Marina has been waiting to be a big sister for quite some time. In adoption, from the very beginning one has to wait to get the applications, then for the paperwork to arrive from everywhere. Then we wait to notarize it. We wait for appointments and finally there is THE WAIT! It is all consuming , I didn't think I was going to be quite so absorbed by it, but it seems that I spend every minute of down time thinking about Celeste. Hence I busy myself with myriad of other projects. At work, I am more consumed than ever to get things done quickly, partially because I can't stand the down time and partially because I feel responsible for getting all my reports done before I take time off with Celeste. When I think of her, I imagine us waking up early and walking Marina to school. Coming home and playing and cuddling and having a good-0ld-time. I don't imagine us waiting for absolutely anything. And eventually I'll get around to teach her to "wait her turn..." but that's still a long wait away.

Keeping all the balls or axes in the air

Just when I think I am going to be good and keep everything I have committed to up to date and running, I realize that I've dropped the ball again. In this case it is this lovely little vehicle for expression and communication.

On Saturday I went to 2 adoption classes offered by Heartsent. Fernando couldn't make it because he is teaching a class 70 miles away from home. So off I went on my own. Heartsent does not have an Ethiopia program, but since they did our home study, they also provide the 10 hours of classes required before we can go get Celeste.
Oh! I forgot to mention that we have settled on naming our baby Celeste. I came up with so very many different names and Fernando would only say "if that's what you like." I almost gave up! But then I said "what about Celeste" and he lit up, so there was no more discussions about it. Marina was set on Lola, but I think she's come around now. Plus I think it makes a good pair with Marina; one is from the sea and the other from the heavens. (I don't think Karen reads this, but if you are reading, I'm sorry for the long tangent!)
Back to the classes; in the first class we discussed the topic of bringing a sibling home. Although I thought that the class was good overall, I am often surprised that the human race has overcome so much, and that people of older generations are so well adjusted. To hear what worries people, and how we are encouraged to over analyze every move we make that might have the slightest impact on our kids, it's a wonder that more children don't grow up to be traumatized for life because they have siblings. The way people talk, you would think that only children who didn't have siblings were well adjusted. When I was growing up I wasn't asked my opinion on matters that were of consequence to the entire family. My parents decided everything; what we wore, what we ate, where we went, where we lived , EVERYTHING. I, by no means suggest that I am the most well balanced person, but I am certainly well adjusted and I am quite adept at handling change. Children are resilient and the fact that we decide to have more than one child should be considered more of a gift than something to ask forgiveness over. My siblings and I were not the best of friends growing up; my sister needed me to stay as far away from her and her friends as possible, and my brother and I fought like cats and dogs. Today, I don't know what I would do without them. They are a part of me; their triumphs and defeats affect me deeply. I have been shaped by them. I have learned patience, sharing, kindness, tenderness, love, forgiveness and endurance through my relationship with my siblings. We have been each other's bitter rivals and most vocal supporters. I thank my parents every day for the wonderful gift of siblings.
Wow, that was a mouth full, more on the second class tomorrow. I'm off to bed.

Getting Personal

So some of my friends have categorized me as a blogging bore. They say that my paranoid obsession with not revealing anything about my self is freakish. Although they like the pictures I post, they want more personal pictures, so here it is; my first attempt at personal blogging.

While Marina and I were in Barcelona and Fernando was teaching, my father continued the paper odyssey. He nearly finished it and when we arrived, all I had to do was send the rest of our dossier to Gladney.

The following are some of our Barcelona adventures.

This was our first official meal, and it was absolutely amazing. Luli prepared it, and every one enjoyed it. I know what you are going to say, these are not personal pictures, but they are. And plus I don't know if the people in my pictures want themselves in the pictures.

Here is a picture of the products in La Boqueria in Barcelona. Just look at those mushrooms; a gnome could live in each one!

It's been a long time

Well, it has taken me a long time, but I think we are almost back in the swing of things.

We were in Barcelona for about 5 weeks; enjoying the Mediterranean Sea, the food, family and friends, and our time of idle nothingness.

Upon our return, we finished the last bit of our dossier and sent it to Mary. She has since received it and sent it on to get the last stage of authentication. We are officially a waiting family!!! I am going to try not to think about this, because otherwise I will go crazy. I will say that I will be using my time wisely in the following to do list:

1)rearrange the garage

2)rearrange the kid's room

3)clean out Marina's closet and look through her baby clothes

4)look for a stroller

I'm sure I will be adding to this list, but for now I will concentrate on these 4 items.

We're back!

After a long month and a half, we're back home. As always, Barcelona was wonderful. Marina had a great time with her yayos (grandparents) and her aunt and uncle. We swam in the Mediterranean and strolled the little streets full of shoppes. We were able to go to Colliure in France and to other beautiful little places. We had a great time. While we were out of town, my father continued the adoption marathon. It is with great delight that I let everyone know that our last bit of paperwork will be going out this week. All I have left to do is scan and fed ex them to Mary. We will finally become a "waiting family." Oh! We decided on a name.

Out of town

Marina and I are taking some well deserved vacation time. I am sorry if we don´t update the blog, but really, there is not much to say except that my fabulous father is taking care of some authentication issues for us and, if the paperwork returns soon, he´ll forward it all to Mary. Other than that, we are just waiting, and waiting and waiting some more. We miss Fernando, and that consumes us more than the waiting. By the way, the computer I am using for these updates does not cooperate with me in the least!!!

Re-do

We were excited to see that our FedEx from the NY Secretary of State. When it arrived we were quite sad to see that we had done the authenticating wrong. We should have send our letter of recommendation to King´s County Cleark´s office and have them forward it to the Secretary of State office in NY. So now we are left with having to re-do the NY paperwork. Any way, no harm done, one learns something new everyday.

Drum roll please! Yes, we are done with the paper chase. I talked to Heartsent last week because I was getting nervous about our CIS letter, so they gave me a number to call to check on our letter. The CIS lady called me back yesterday and let me know I could go pick our letter up today.
Well, today I went to CIS (in downtown L.A.), picked up our approval letter, then met Fernando and Marina at the AAA office , then Fernando and Marina went to the book store while I went to Norwalk (L.A. county clerk's office; which inexplicably is not located in downtown L.A.) to authenticate, then back to downtown to the Secretary of State's office to further authenticate, and then finally home. I am so tired, but so extremely relieved! Now we just have to wait for our documents; which we sent out to get authenticated in NY and in Sacramento, so that we can FedEx them to Gladney. They will then add their portion to the pile and send the entire dossier on to DC for final authentication, and that is when we are finally considered a "waiting family."

Every little grain of sand gets us closer to Ethiopia

At 10am today there was a loud knock at our door. It was the FedEx man. He handed me a large thin envelope and had me sign. I quickly ripped it open and looked inside...can you guess what it was? Is the anticipation killing you yet? MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE ARRIVED safe and sound; all thanks to my wonderful cousin Pedri.
Well, I lost no time and marched myself straight to the notary and then to FedEx to send it along with other documents to be authenticated. On my way home I received a call from Maggie at Heartsent letting me know that she spoke with the CIS office and our letter should be arriving by early next week! That letter is the last of our documents that make up our dossier.

AAA

We accomplished quite some today. All three of us went to AAA and, because we have been there so much, and we go to the same lovely person so much, he now knows us very well, and gets us in and out of there is a jiff. We notarized Fernando's passport copy, our financial statement, our limited power of attorney, and Fernando's birth certificate. We also FedExed one of our letters of recommendation to get authenticated in NY. Things are getting finalized quite quickly now!

Just got back!

Well, Marina and I just returned from our tour of the bureaucratic offices of the Los Angeles area. We first went to the Norwalk County Clerk's office. They authenticated 14 papers, charged us a pretty penny, and gave us directions to the down town Los Angeles office of the Secretary of State. We parked (for 16 dollars) in front of 300 N Spring instead of in front of 300 S Spring so we had to walk a long way. Marina was amazing with the walking! When we got there and told them we had 15 documents to authenticate, they were about to turn me away. I must have looked like a lunatic because they immediately said "well OK, but next time, if you bring so much, come earlier." What a relief, I thought I was going to lose it. Well they charged me a prettier penny than the County Clerk's office, but at least a great portion of the documents are basically ready to be sent to the Federal Authentication process...where they will charge us the prettiest penny ever!

Days off

Today is my first official day of vacation. At the end of last week I spoke with a woman in the civil registry in Mexico City and she said that she would take care of my birth certificate issue. She suggested I ask one of my cousins to pick up the documents so they can overnight them to me. So I called Pedri and he agreed to the task. Hurray for Pedri! On another note we have yet to receive our 1-171H from CIS. Although we do not have all our documents ready I will be going to the county clerk's office today to get the first step of authentication done. If I have time I'll also go to the Secretary of State's office.

Blue

Yesterday I spent a very long time scanning about 40 dossier documents. It took so long, and the scanner was so slow. Now I only have a few left to scan, and I will do that as they come in. My summer break begins on Monday, so I will be able to dedicate much more time to the paper gathering. I will call Mexico to see if my birth certificate has been processed...we can only hope, and get the bulk of our documents to the county clerk's office and to the secretary of state. We also have to figure out the NY and TX authentication process. I have come to terms with the fact that our dossier will not make it to Ethiopia before July first, now I'm only hoping that I can send it off to Mary before we leave on vacation. (by the way, I just spelled checked and was surprised to find that "no misspellings found.")

Fassica

I've been meaning to write, but it seems we are at a bit of a stand still. We are waiting for things to come to us, and we can't move forward until they arrive. The only thing we can continue to do is notarize documents that are already in our possession and scan them as we move along. It is excruciating. Because of this slow down, it seems that every time I see someone I haven't seen in some time, and they ask me about how it's coming along...I wish they would say "I see you've come along way, your blog is keeping us up to speed." It is so taxing to wait, and we're not even in the official waiting stage; questions make it more difficult. The whole point of our blog is to keep everyone abreast of the process, believe me, if there was more to tell I'd tell it. On another note, this past Saturday I met two wonderful women who are also adopting little girls from Ethiopia. I don't know if they would want me to share their names, so I won't. Marina and I headed to Fassica in Culver City. This place is fantastic. Anyway, just as we were getting to know each other, we heard a terrible car crash right outside of the restaurant. My two new mothers-to-be friends ran out and the owner of the restaurant followed right behind them. Marina and I stayed in the restaurant (no need for Marina to be exposed to gore). Soon after one of the moms-to-be ran back asking for a soda, and informed me that one of the people involved was the husband of the owner of Fassica! A little later everyone came back to the restaurant and the owner asked us to PLEASE stay. She would call her niece to care for us, and she would meet her husband (who is diabetic and was taken to the hospital in the ambulance) at the hospital. It took some convincing us, but we stayed. It took time, but we settled and continued to bond over our adoptions. We talked a great deal about all the blogs and laughed about some of what we all share over the internet with perfect strangers. In the end I left feeling like I had just met two beautiful women who I hope will be a part of our lives for years to come. I am also grateful for this crazy mode of communication. This online journaling has opened great doors to new and meaningful individuals whom I would have never known had I'd been using a paper and pencil...thank you to all of you whom have reached out...and to those of you whom read silently.

...or like her

I took the day off from work today so that I could do some important running around. After I picked up the final draft of our home study I went home to make some lunch for Marina and me. In the mail box I found an envelope from CIS...I got excited, but managed to make lunch before opening it. I was quite disappointed to discover that it was only a letter stating that they needed another proof of my citizenship because my passport (of which they had a copy) expired while they were processing our petition. I now have a new passport, so I'm sending them a new copy via overnight FedEx, because I think that is the last thing they are waiting for before we get approved. There is very little more for us to get done, so we hope we can actually send our dossier off to Mary before our self imposed July 1st deadline. Now I'm off to make copies and look into scanning paperwork.

She could look like her

So much has happened, but I haven't written in because it's going fast. Our FBI paperwork came back yesterday. We had enclosed a return FedEx envelope and tracked it while it returned back to our home. As soon as I got home I asked Fernando if he got the FedEx. He handed me the envelope and I ripped it open quickly. And there they were 2 sealed envelopes. I wanted to open them so badly, but Fernando ...voice of reason... said I should ask Gladney before I did anything "just in case." Also yesterday I talked to Kerry at Heartsent and she said I could pick up our home study whenever we wanted. So today I went to pick it up. They have already sent one to CIS and another to Gladney. When I got home, I read it through and through. there was one minor mistake, but as I have said before, Maggie is fantastic.
We are getting so close I can't believe that we may be in the official waiting stage soon.

Fairy gift

After a few e-mails to and from Carey (she's also adopting from Ethiopia) I decided to call Heartsent to ask if, when the home study write up was done, I could walk it into the CIS office. Kerry called me back immediately (as usual) and said that they had already sent it off to CIS and that it had also been e-mailed to Gladney for approval. Wow! that was so unexpected gift. Now, if Tonia approves the home study, we'll get the rest of the Heartsent paperwork for the dossier done. I hope that the rest of the agencies we are dealing with hurry up so that we can get all our paperwork authenticated. Two of our letters of recommendation have been notarized outside our county (one in NY and the other in SF), so we will FedEx them tomorrow to the county clerk and then to the secretary of state in NY and CA. I keep looking at our to-do-list and just trying to cross items, that are in our control, off. 19 days to go before my self imposed deadline.

News from Gladney

Today I received a few bits of news from the staff at Gladney. One dealt with a meet and greet hosted at The Gladney Center (in TX). Needless to say we must regretfully decline the invitation being that we are in California. Then there was the adoptive criteria changes that are being suggested are:
1)Adoptive parent(s) must be between 25-55 years of age.
2)Adoptive parents must be married for at least TWO years.
3)Married or single heterosexual individuals must have 5 biological or adopted children or less in the home.
4)There must be a 2 year age difference between the adopted child and a biological child.
5)Both parents are expected to travel to Ethiopia to pick up their child/ren, unless extenuating circumstances are presented and approved.

The last point worries us because we had planned on Fernando staying with Marina and making sure she maintained a sense of normalcy. We'll see what the Ethiopian government considers "extenuating circumstances," and go from there.

The last bit of news came in the form of a phone call. Elizabeth called to inform me that our Gladney application was COMPLETE! The only thing they are waiting for is Maggie's home study write up. Happy doesn't begin to express how feel. Any way, now we're only concentrating on the completion of our dossier. Dossier...that word makes me nervous, and laugh at the same time. Nervous because I want it to be done already. But it makes me laugh because the girls in the office are sick of the word...this little word that was unknown to us until 3 months ago.

E-mail can yield disastous results

Today I went to Kaiser and everything went great. I had arranged it with the notary to meet me 5 minutes early (just to make sure we were on time) because I didn't want to upset our MD. She was SO fantastic, and patient, and efficient and took her time...quite the turn around from my last entry. I think that e-mail is incredibly difficult to read. One person's "emphases" CAPS is an other's SHOUTING, which makes me believe that it really depends on how a person reads this blog whether they get us or not...for all I know we come off incredibly foolish. One of my friends seemed quite appalled when I told her I was writing an on line journal. She said, "I don't know, what makes you think any one wants to read your journal" (she said it in a tone of self reproach). Because I know her, her voice inflections, the look in her eyes, I know this was more about her and the way she always seems to minimize her fabulousness, and less about her thinking I was the most self-important person she could imagine. Fortunately our exchange happened in person!
On another note, I turned the last bit of paperwork to Heartsent; the notarized physicals for both of us, and a color photocopy of Fernando's passport, not to mention the post placement fee. This means that Maggie has all the information she needs to finish her write up and send it to CIS. Now I only need to wait for my birth certificate and get other little things notarized and authenticated for our dossier. I really hope all is done by my July 1st deadline.

Our Doctor

You know how in the past I said I love Kaiser? The Statement still holds true, with some minor exceptions. When Fernando and I first joined Kaiser, our doctor was fantastic. He has now moved on to the Sunset office, where he has gone up in rank and responsibility. We love him, and hope that he is enjoying his new position. Our new doctor has very big shoes to fill. She is quick, impatient, somewhat impersonal and very curt. During my physical, she was very vocal about how I should have come earlier so that she could have looked over all the paperwork from the different agencies (never mind that I told the appointment center and the intake nurse why I needed the physical and they didn't seem to think I needed to be told to come earlier). Anyway, then she redeemed herself by ordering Fernando's labs (to save time) and telling me we could just arrange to meet at lunch with the notary so that I didn't have to make an appointment. This week, I e-mailed her (through the Kaiser on line message exchange) and left a message with the nurse, just to remind her about our adoption needs. this is how she answered our e-mail: "Hello, Please excuse the delay. I was out sick yesterday. You can come in on any day next week at 12:30 in the afternoon to get the paperwork signed. Please let me know which day you are coming in so I can tell the nurses to look for you. P.S- you don't have to call AND email, I just wasn't in the office to take care of your message. In the future, please make sure to give me time to respond to your messages.Take care." Wow, great bedside manners. I will be meeting her on Monday (with the notary).
Anyway, on another subject I sent our our FBI request, and should be hearing back from them in about a week. I called them just to make sure my request was correct. The woman who helped me asked me to call them three days after our FedEx was delivered to them.

Against a Deadline

I was reading Mary's message on the Gladney's newsletter and suddenly I became somewhat panicked about getting all our paperwork into the Ethiopian government by July 1st. This date is important if we want to get a referral and a court date before the rainy season in Addis Ababa. Apparently the court systems shut down for the months of August and September. If we do not make the deadline, we could still receive a child referral, but our babe would have to wait until October before her court date to finalize our adoption. So today was crazy. Fernando got his FBI fingerprints done in the morning and I went after work. I got our FBI packet together including the money orders and I FedExing it tomorrow. I hope it gets processed quickly! Tomorrow I hope to tie up our medical paperwork, and the copies of our passports. Then we'll only have my birth certificate, reference letters and home study write up to wait for...but those are all out of my control.

Travel Books

Yesterday we went to a travel store and bought a book on Ethiopia. I know it's wishful thinking, especially because we aren't even done collecting all our paperwork, but it is better to prepare than to be scrambling to the end. Anyway, Marina is so funny because she asks me to read from the travel book and gets excited about all the things my brother and I will be seeing in Ethiopia. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I asked by brother to come with me to pick up our baby. Marina will most likely be in school and needs stability and continuity while we take her through the journey of big sisterhood. Oh! we finally got Fernando's employment letter, and this time, the notary got it right. I also contacted the traveling notary and I will be making arrangements with our MD to get the papers from our physicals signed and sealed.

I spoke with Heartsent today, and they said that our home study would most likely be dome by mid June (optimistically). I guess we're OK with that considering we still have to finish gathering everything.

To My Bosom Friend

From the first time I posted on this blog, I made a commitment not to post anything about our personal life that did not pertain to our adoption journey. This is because I believe that the primary role of this, on-line journal, is to help others who are either beginning this road or are in the midst of this vast ocean. However, yesterday I was talking with one of my very dearest friends and realised how absorbed I've been with this quest for our little baby. My lovely friend is so giving, and patient, and loving, and kind, and everything else you can think of. She is one of the loves of my life. She makes me laugh, and think, and inquire, and self examine, and knowing her has made me a better person. She always sees the good side of people. I say all of this because for the past two months she has read our blog, heard my adoption obsession and asked about how our journey was coming along, and gave encouragement and words of wisdom. Last night, while we were on the phone talking about each other's plans for the long week end and long summer vacations she said; "I wish you could come with us to Hawaii." So I said, "you know Hawaii has never been my number one destination." She finally said that she wished we could go because she and her long time boy are GETTING MARRIED. I am so happy for them. They love each other for ever already. Today I am only posting to say: congratulations, my little friend. I love you.

Everytime I try to get our, they pull me back in.

Let me explain: Fernando went to pick up his employment verification letter from his wonderful contact in the HR department of his school district. When I opened one of the envelopes, the letter looked great. I thought we were out of the bureaucratic mess. Well, we are not. When I turned the page to look at the notary statement, she had made a mistake and put Fernando's name as the person signing the letter instead of the director of HR. I called our contact, and was sorry to tell her that the notary had made a big mistake, and that we could not use the letters because we are not allowed to un-staple and re-stapel, hence, they had to draft brand new letters!!!!! I'm so bummed. Any way, on another front, I think our last 2 letters of recommendation should be in by the end of this week, so this takes some of the load off. On another front, we should be getting our third set of fingerprints this week to send off to the FBI. And our medical information should be in by the end of next week.

Getting Oh So Close

Today we met with Maggie for the third and last time regarding our home study. We are so happy to be done with that process, not because we don't enjoy Maggie, but because that means we are a little closer to meeting our babe. Also, Fernando's HR contact has come through! He will be able to pick up his employment letters by Monday during lunch time. I'm so happy that our patience and relentlessness paid off. Now, we're only waiting for Fernando's lab results, my birth certificate, our FBI stuff, and 2 letters of recommendation. Then we should be able to put our dossier together to get the authentication done and sent off to the Ethiopian officials. We hope to be able to get all of this done by the end of June. We began the process in early March, so we've been at this for almost 3 months now...I think we're keeping good pace.

I've been in constant negotiations with Fernando's HR people. I think I'm making some headway. I will send the woman whom I've been talking with the documents that state that I need these certified copies of the letter of employment. I will also ask Maggie from Heartsent send them a note, and perhaps Mary from Gladney can send her one about Gladney's requirement and the dossier requirement. We'll see what happens...I guess it isn't only the Mexican governmental offices who give people a difficult time over the smallest of details!
On another note, Fernando will be getting his physical done tomorrow. As soon as his results are in, I will be able to arrange the notary thing at Kaiser. We also need to get our third and last set of fingerprints for our FBI paperwork. I think I can see a little tiny light at the end of the paperwork tunnel.

About a week or two ago, I went to the human resources department at work and asked Sharron if she could write me the letter of employment necessary for our dossier, I told her we would have to go to the AAA together to get the letter notarized and she informed me that Peggy was a notary public; so there was no need to go to AAA. She had the letter ready in no time and Peggy gave me 3 notarized copies immediately. They were both fantastic and seemed to be very excited about being able to help out in this most important project.
On Friday, I called the human resources department in Fernando's work and the experience couldn't have been more opposite. I first spoke to one lady, she informed me that I needed to speak with the person in charge of writing those letters. When I spoke with her she wanted me to give her the name and address of the people who wanted the letter so that she could send them the letter...she never expressed any excitement of the prospect of our adoption. I explained to her that the letters would be sent to the adoption agencies and to the Ethiopian government. She still couldn't help me. Then she said that Fernando had to make the request in writing. So I sent her an e-mail from Fernando's account and didn't hear back from her (arrrrggg! as I write this I just remembered that I didn't specify that we needed 3 originals notarized and one plain for our records). Any way, I called her today, and she said that they don't have a notary on site-she's out on maternity leave, and that she would have to speak to her supervisor (who so happens to be the same woman I originally spoke with). I told her to leave her a message on my behalf, and that I would like to speak with the supervisor to explain to her the urgency of the matter--I never heard back!

I have decided to feature works from Ethiopian artists as openers to my little adoption trials and tribulations. I hope every one enjoys them. I haven't written in some time, but it seems that the few things that our Gladney file is still missing are beyond our control. We are only missing our notarized health checks, 2 of our reference letters, and our home study report. Oh and, how could I overlook this, my birth certificate. I hope I get that in the mail soon!
Today I was happy to see that both the Fulkners and Bottomlys met their boys. Wow, I can't even believe how fantastic it is to be able to share their experience! When I see them and their new babies, it is quite reassuring that this is an inevitable journey for our family... how could we not adopt? I was reading the Swerl Blog and it seems that they are going through a bad patch. I urge them to see the latest posts from the people I just mentioned...they will find themselves sure again.

Kaiser

Just a quick note to inform everyone how much I LOVE Kaiser. Now, I know there is a great deal of skepticism about this HMO, but for me, it has been the greatest. Throughout my pregnancy I received amazing care, and labor and delivery was fabulous. The level of care is unmatched. Today I went to my physical. I brought all my forms (Heartsent, Gladney and Dossier). I was called in immediately, my doctor thought all that was asked for was over the top, but didn't question anything. She also said I could e-mail her once my labs were in so that we could coordinate a time for the notary to come to her office (she said I don't need to make a formal appointment). Well, then she ordered ALL my labs and I was on my way. As of 10 minutes ago I have received 2 emails from Kaiser with 4 of my lab results!

Clean, clean, clean until your body can clean no more

Well, I am my mother's daughter. I remember, when I was little, my mom getting so worked up about getting the house to look just perfect before company arrive that, in my mind, she turned into a frantic cleaning machine that gave orders to us about how we had to get our rooms in just the right condition.
For the past week, I've been cleaning, de-cluttering, planting, ripping plants out, folding clothes, going to the Good Will, cleaning our home office, going through drawers, and basically becoming a cleaning machine that gives orders to others about how to get everything just in the right condition for the home visit from Maggie.
Now, I know that the point of the home visit as far as Heartsent is concerned is not to criticize or judge a person's home keeping skills but, being that I grew up around women who commented on every one's home and deconstructed every inch of their friend's decorating and cleaning skills (whether their own or their house keepers) I couldn't leave one inch of the house without at least a good wipe down.
So it took Maggie, Marina and me 5 minutes to look around our little home, including the yards! As expected Maggie didn't take a second look at the cleaning aspect of our home, but as to the quality of life we will be providing our baby girl and Marina, way to go Maggie!
After interviewing me and then Fernando (for about an hour each), Marina got her little turn and Maggie was off to her own home.
Thankfully, we went out to dinner and relaxed.

Kevin & Sam

I woke up early this morning because Fernando and I had made plans to meet with Kevin and Sam at Il Fornaio. After breakfast we had committed to attend the orientation at Heartsent. We figured that if there wasn't a friendship spark, the orientation was the perfect excuse to cut the awkward breakfast short. Well, Fernando overslept so it was Cindy, Marina and me who went to meet this other soon to be parents of an Ethiopian girl.
I wish we could have talked longer! Kevin and Sam are fabulous! not to mention their little boys, who are magical. We got along great, and were happy to find that we have similar ideas about so many topics. I hope they felt the same way. In the end we had to leave quickly without making any real plans to meet again. Next weekend there is some sort of potluck with other soon to be parents of Ethiopian children (should I start a trend of calling us SPECs? I don't like the term adoptive parents: we're just parents), so if we remember to go, we'll see them there.
The orientation at Heartsent was really good. It had a very personal feeling with a video to begin with, and newly united families talking about their experiences.
I'm off to translate some documents.

Bureaucracy

Who knew getting a certified copy of my Mexican birth certificate would be this complicated? I have tried on numerous occasions to get a copy of my birth certificate. I called the Mexican consulate general and they were of no help. I thought that when Cindy was in Mexico City, she could do this for me, but alas she was crazy busy with her students and Mexican governmental offices pretty much are nonexistent for any holy day (in this case; week). So yesterday I decided to try my luck in person. I knew I was taking a chance and that my experience there would be quite different from Fernando's visits to his consulate general (consider the difference in number of Spanish immigrants in L.A. vs. that of Mexican immigrants...staggering), but I ventured anyway. Let me describe the scene: Parking was surprisingly easy, so I was encouraged. As I walked towards the gate, it became clear that there was an entire street economy all based on the needs you might have once you entered the consulate...this typically signals a long wait and unexpected surprises. There was a lunch car selling everything and anything you can imagine in edible goods. There were people selling black ink pens trying to convince anyone that would make eye contact that you couldn't get anything done inside the gates without their pens. There were people asking if we needed help filling the "overly complicated" forms. There were so many people there, I was a little taken aback, but proceeded. Anyway, as soon as the guard took a cursory look in my purse, I was in the gate and told to go up the stairs to the 4th floor (somehow we were already in the third floor so there were not so many stairs...what do the old or disable do?) The 4th floor was EMPTY. Why are there so many people outside if this place is empty? So I tell the lady my issue and she says; "we probably can't help you, but sign in and take a seat." I wait, and wait, and wait. There are people, who work there having casual conversations, going in, taking a seat and having conversations with their buddies. I read, and read, and read. Finally I get called into an office. The man behind the desk greets me, I began telling him what I needed, and suddenly he says; "excuse me." He reaches to his waist, picks up his cell phone (which apparently had been vibrating) and proceeds to have a lengthy conversation about what time he got home last night and how much fun it was and blah, blah, blah. Unbelievable! And I had to sit there and pretend this wasn't bothering me, because he might be able to help me and I don't want to upset him and ruin my chances at getting my birth certificate! After he hangs up he gives me some feeble explanation of his wife, I give him a courtesy laugh and try to move on to business. He explains how the consulate has no way of attaining these documents and I just sit there, quiet, listening. I think that made him a little uncomfortable, because he began to make some phone calls, gave my information to someone and finally said; "call this number next Friday and they will be able to help you." After thanking him profusely for, I don't know what, I left empty handed but oddly accomplished.

My next stop, the county recorders office to pick up a more recent copy of our marriage certificate. That took 3 minutes, $13 and I was on my way with documents in hand.
While I did all this, Fernando had his turn at the CIS fingerprinting, HA!

Maggie is awesome!

Today we met with Maggie (from Heartsent) for our first of three formal home study visits. Maggie is awesome! She made us feel very comfortable. It is evident that she knows what she's doing. When our visit was over both Fernando and I felt like we'd had a great time, conversing with a friend. She never really asked us questions, but led the conversation in the direction she needed. WOW! We spent about an hour and made our appointment for the next visit (at our home).
I am so tired today. I told Fernando that I was going to write this and then head off to bed. He was watching some the game between the Golden State and the Dallas (I have no idea about this stuff), and he switch the channel to, of all things, American Idol. Those of you who know me, know how much I dislike this show. I am embarrassed by it and the fact that so many more people vote for American Idol, than for actual political officials who will affect our lives directly. Now that that is out of the way, the point is that right then the announcer introduced a clip from a singer (a previous winner) who visits orphans in Africa...can you believe that I was crying. I was moved. Especially after the next segment when one of the judges visits some families. I think it's also because I've been reading There is no me without you. And because we are feeling it so close to our home and our hearts. Seeing the little faces of the beautiful African children makes me think that I'm going to want to take them all home when we get to go pick up our little baby girl. Like I promised, I'm off to bed before I fall over from sheer exhaustion and tears.

Back on

Well we played a bit of phone tag, and after a few messages, it seems that we are back on for our home study, with Maggie, for Wednesday afternoon. We are so happy.

Today I got a call from Tonia at Gladney. She was great. She noticed that most of our paperwork is in to them and put me through to Mary so that she could give me some dossier information. I think we're going to try to go through the process on our own, if it goes slower than we think, then we'll rethink our strategy.

I made a few calls today to the Mexican Consulate General, the Secretary of State, and the Los Angeles Vital Records offices. I got all the information I need in order to get things done at each place. We'll see how it goes.

Frustrated

Yesterday we were rescheduled to meet with Maggie and again she cancelled. I know she felt awful, and I know I should be understanding, and when I talked to her I was, however I am somewhat frustrated. The thing is that she does this for a living, so perhaps she doesn't have the sense of urgency that we do. It's kind of like when you call 911 and they tell you to calm down. You are frantic, because you don't live an EMERGENCY every day, in contrast to the 911 operator who deals with at least 15 emergencies an hour. Any way, I'm also in a sense of panic because I want to get our dossier to Ethiopia before the rainy season. It seems that the courts close during the months of August and September. I imagine our baby spending two months of the rainy season away from us...it crushes me when I picture this. Not that she won't be well taken care of, but she won't be home with us.
I heard a story on NPR, during This American Life, about these two men who went through an open adoption. The one telling the story described the moment in which they took the baby home from the hospital. He had envisioned this amazing scene, but the reality was dreadful. It got me thinking...and picturing our baby's mother. I feel for her. I feel lots of things for her. I feel rage against the world for allowing poverty for forcing her to give up her child, for the fact that she is a casualty of the imbalance of wealth..and for so many things, I can't begin to list them all. We have a child that we were able to keep... We will have her child and and we will keep her well. We will love her, and kiss her and raise her to be a caring adult, not just for those around her but for all the world's people. We will honor her culture and ours and we hope that one day mothers aren't forced to give up their children due to poverty.

Cancelled

Yesterday I made arrangements with Wendy to pick up Marina from school when she got her daughter, and take her with them to swimming class. We were scheduled to have our first of three home visit meetings with Maggie (our social worker from Heartsent). As I was getting onto the freeway to make my lunchtime fingerprinting appointment at the El Monte CIS office, I received a call from Maggie asking if we could reschedule for tomorrow. After calling Fernando, I called her back to let her know that was fine. I was a little disappointed, because I want to get EVERYTHING done ALREADY and just wait for our referral. Could I be any more impatient? Anyway, back to CIS. I got to the office (on the second floor of a diminutive strip mall (with no parking!) and the kind security guard informed me that I had to go back to my car to drop off my mobile phone, because they were not allowed inside the office. He gave me a number and I was off. My number was called fairly swiftly and I thought "wow, this is going quite smoothly...I thought too soon. Once my invitation was marked, I was told to wait in the other waiting area (same room with the chairs facing in a different direction) and wait for my same number to be called. The little screen said "160" (the same number than when I took my phone to the car), the number in my hand read "185." I know I shouldn't complain, but this is only an observation...it seems that the people in this office are, most likely, trained with the people from the DMV, because they all seem to walk at the same slow rate, and avoid eye contact with anyone sitting in the waiting area. It is quite difficult not to begin fuming after 30 minutes have passed and the number on the screen is 165. Somehow I kept my spirits up and thought of all the time that I will be waiting for our referral and how this was a good exercise in patience. Once my fingerprints were done I felt an overwhelming sense of relief knowing that this got us closer to bringing our baby home. Fernando will probably go get his fingerprints done at the same place. I will make sure he takes good reading material with him...the two televisions there are not a good way to spend your time.

Immigration!!!

Unbelievable! Our CIS checks cleared only 2 days ago, and today I received notice from them that we have our fingerprinting appointments. They asked for Fernando's proof of residency as part of the approval process. I feel so excited, this process is going very well. I know, I know, we've only just begun, and I should expect lots of bumps in the road ahead, but I can't help feeling optimistic. Today I gave two of my referrals their instructions with FedEx envelopes prepared. I also prepared the paperwork for Marina's pediatrician. Everyone is so wonderfully helpful. Well, I'm off to bed.

Application sent

Today was very busy, I sent in the bulk of the Gladney paperwork. Here are the pictures we sent.

Now I only have to worry about our physicals, Marina's statement of good health from her pediatrician, our 4 references, and forwarding our criminal and child abuse clearance reports from our home study agency. I'm beat!
On Friday the 13 we got our taxes done, and I'm so glad because we got a good return and I was able to send off the first chuck of change to Gladney. There is still so much to do.
For those of you that are members of AAA So Ca Auto Club, you should know that if you become a premier member you get 10 notary signatures per day at no charge. Wow!!
We have to go back to AAA with Marina because we need passport pictures for our Dossier and passports renewals.
Well, I'm off to work on my reports for work, and then off to bed to get at least a couple hours rest.

Obnoxious (I like the way this word sounds)

Today Marina, Fernando and I went to get his fingerprints done at PCC. We then dropped the proof at Heartsent. While there, we notarized our financial statement (by the way, the girls loved the cupcakes from Violet's - the owner told me that she too had adopted internationally!)

Any way, we then had our telephone orientation with Judy. She is so patient and great. She cleared up so much! So, we FedExed our request for application immediately and are eager to begin all our paperwork (yes, I know how obnoxious that sounds).

We also went to Kaiser to find out how to go about the notarizing of our physicals...we have to coordinate with our primary MD and will probably have the notary meet us at the Kaiser office at the time we pick up Fernando's results-in mid May.

In the evening we headed to Santa Monica for a well deserved relaxing time at the beach...the waves were incredible!

On my birthday

Well, today is my birthday and I am happy to report that I have been receiving just what I wanted. Today, Marina and I did the following:

• Went to get coffee and a little something to nibble at, and read Peter Rabbit.
• Went to PCC to get fingerprinted (only me)
• Went to the local library to get a book for Marina
• Went to the bank to get our account verification
• Went to Heartsent to drop off sooooo much
• Went to play with Marina's preschool friends

Now Marina is taking a well deserved nap and I am looking over the ever lasting list of things that I must accomplish...not to mention the beds I should be making and the stuff I should be picking up...more later.

Now it's later. Well, I couldn't stop, so I put together the I-600A and FedExed it. It is now in SunValley, CA (wherever that is). By the time I tried going back to Heartsent (to give them a copy of the I-600A), they had closed...I'll go again tomorrow! (I hope they don't grow sick of me...maybe I'll take them a snack, that always makes people glad to see you).

We went by Borders and picked up The Complete Book of International Adoption. Now I'm off to tuck Marina into bed, read her a couple stories, kiss her good night and think abut the baby who will soon share the excitement of the mundane of our loving home.

Home Study

Today we dropped Marina off at Luke's house (her classmate-whose mother was kind enough to help us; so that we could go to our home study appointment). We met with Kerry for about an hour and she went over the entire process. We are eager to get started with ALL the steps at once. Kerry said it should take about 8 weeks...some how everything takes 8 weeks. She said that as soon as we get all the information from Gladney we can get started with gathering information since we will probably need the same things for Heartsent, and there is no sense in doing double the work. I've made the appointment for my physical and we will be getting our fingerprints on Monday. As I was looking over the list of things we need, it struck me that we already have most of the documents needed.

On another note, I checked the Faulkner and Ethiopia or bust blogs, and they RECEIVED their REFERRALS!!!!!!!! I am so happy for them both. It seems it was about 7 months from the time they began the process. Wow! they are so fortunate to be nearing the finish line. I feel like I'm at the gym locker room changing into my gym clothes as they are changing into their street clothes.

Spring Break

Marina is off from school for two weeks, and Fernando and I are only off for one (the week of the 9th). Fernando took Monday and Tuesday off from work. Today and tomorrow are my days. So here is what Marina and I accomplished today.

• Hand deliver our application for a home study to Heartsent Adoptions Inc.
• Make our 1st appointment with Heartsent (Friday, April 6th @ 1pm)
• Visit the Spanish Consulate General in LA to get certified copies of Fernando's birth certificate.
• Got instructions on how to make our baby legally part of our family under Spanish law (while in Addis Ababa we have to visit the Spanish Embassy - good to know before it was too late).

At this pace, I wonder how much I can get done through Spring Break?

Information Received

Finally, Judy from Gladney called and e-mailed me today to let me know that she received our Information Sheet. She is so kind, and patient. I’m sure that she gets tons of people like us who just can’t wait until they get their hands on their beautiful Ethiopian babies. Any way we will be having a phone conference on the 11th of April, to go over the adoption process. We are so happy, imagine how we’ll be when we actually get our baby!
On another front, Fernando is finishing his portion of the Home Study application process. We should be ready to send that off by Monday, and considering that Heartsent is in Pasadena, we shouldn’t have to wait too long before they start their process.
Also, Cindy is doing me the great favor of going to the “registro civil” in Mexico City to get official copies of my birth certificate. I’m getting about 5 copies (just in case). I’m very grateful to her because I contacted the Mexican Consulate and they said that they could not process my request. It needed to be done in Mexico…what is a consulate for, if not to help you with official business?

Pictures of Ethiopian Children

I found this Spanish web site about Ethiopia adoptions http://www.afne.org/main_e.html. On the, right-hand-side, list of links, find the one called "album de fotos." You will see the most beautiful babies ever!

An assignment

On Monday I called Gladney to let them know I had sent the Information Form. Judy was quite perceptive and gave me an assignment; to make the wait more bearable. I began researching Home Study agencies and after a few calls one of the agencies referred me to a few places near our home. I asked a couple of them to send me information. Now I have been checking the mailbox eagerly. Oh, I also found Fernando's and my birth certificates and our marriage certificate. Who knew that a 1140 square foot home had so much space to hide documents safely; even from the person who put them away.

Picture of our family

So yesterday our neighbor, Janelle, came over to take our family picture. Now our Adoption Information Sheet is complete; including the $50.00 fee. I will be mailing it off to Gladney today. We can't wait to hear back. Yesterday Cindy and I were discussing names for the baby. Fernando and I struggled so much to come up with our first's name, I don't know if we will decide on a name untill we see our little one's face.

We are having a baby!!

On March 3rd Fernando and I decided to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia. The next day the research began. Long story short we hope to work with Gladney Center for Adoption-http://www.adoptionsbygladney.com/html/international/ethiopia/index.shtml

Since our decision, we've been hard at work trying to get things together. I think I'm getting ahead of myself and need to slow down.

We are so excited we are jumping out of our skin. Every one we have told about our decision is extremely supportive and this makes us more certain that we are doing the right thing.