Getting closer

Just like the rest of the of the adoption blogging reading/writing population, I spend my share of time looking for clues that give away the approximate date on which we will receive our referral. My motives fluctuate from practical, to irrational, to obsessive control freak, but what remains the same is the incisive need to know. When I was pregnant with Marina I was told that the due date was merely a guesstimate, and that she should be born earlier or later, and that it was more likely going to be later. It was 7 days later, but I didn't mind so much because for one, I knew that she was safe inside my womb, and secondly, I wasn't quite ready to give up my sleep, freedom, and lack of responsibility yet. In fact, a couple of days after my due date, I was in a very small fender-bender and the doctor on duty asked me if it was "okay to just induce labor since you are overdue anyway." I just about had a panic attack and told her I wasn't anywhere ready to have a baby. Five days later I was ready and she was born.

Today I am ready, and I don't really think you give up anything but juvenile selfishness when you have a baby. I know Celeste will present new challenging opportunities for our family, but I also know those go hand in hand with the many more joyful and fantastic journeys. What I don't know is when those adventures will begin. I am filled with anticipation, and hence I do all in my power to figure out when Celeste will be home.

According to my calculations, it is taking about 12-13 weeks to receive an infant girl referral. Now, I've asked Mary and she stated that all awaiting families are put in order of when their paperwork was completed. However that doesn't really mean that families receive their referrals in the same order. Oftentimes, children will be assigned to a family but all the medical assessments and eligibility has to be checked before that family receives word. Sometimes a family will receive a referral before another that was before them, because their baby's paperwork comes through quicker, not because they were paired up sooner. 140 Gladney families are currently in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. That doesn't mean that they are all in the waiting stage, only that they are somewhere in the process.

Some time ago when the Bottomlys received their referral, I said that I felt like they were leaving the gym and we were barely getting to it. Well, we are finally in the showers about to leave our emotional gym and join the Bottomlys and all the others in the everyday life with new family members.

Waiting

All we do is wait, and it seems that everyone else is also waiting. This entire process is about waiting. There are so many moments of just waiting. Fernando and I have been lucky, I guess, because we didn't have to wait to have children. Marina came into our lives just as we planned, so our wait is very different. But now Marina has been waiting to be a big sister for quite some time. In adoption, from the very beginning one has to wait to get the applications, then for the paperwork to arrive from everywhere. Then we wait to notarize it. We wait for appointments and finally there is THE WAIT! It is all consuming , I didn't think I was going to be quite so absorbed by it, but it seems that I spend every minute of down time thinking about Celeste. Hence I busy myself with myriad of other projects. At work, I am more consumed than ever to get things done quickly, partially because I can't stand the down time and partially because I feel responsible for getting all my reports done before I take time off with Celeste. When I think of her, I imagine us waking up early and walking Marina to school. Coming home and playing and cuddling and having a good-0ld-time. I don't imagine us waiting for absolutely anything. And eventually I'll get around to teach her to "wait her turn..." but that's still a long wait away.

Keeping all the balls or axes in the air

Just when I think I am going to be good and keep everything I have committed to up to date and running, I realize that I've dropped the ball again. In this case it is this lovely little vehicle for expression and communication.

On Saturday I went to 2 adoption classes offered by Heartsent. Fernando couldn't make it because he is teaching a class 70 miles away from home. So off I went on my own. Heartsent does not have an Ethiopia program, but since they did our home study, they also provide the 10 hours of classes required before we can go get Celeste.
Oh! I forgot to mention that we have settled on naming our baby Celeste. I came up with so very many different names and Fernando would only say "if that's what you like." I almost gave up! But then I said "what about Celeste" and he lit up, so there was no more discussions about it. Marina was set on Lola, but I think she's come around now. Plus I think it makes a good pair with Marina; one is from the sea and the other from the heavens. (I don't think Karen reads this, but if you are reading, I'm sorry for the long tangent!)
Back to the classes; in the first class we discussed the topic of bringing a sibling home. Although I thought that the class was good overall, I am often surprised that the human race has overcome so much, and that people of older generations are so well adjusted. To hear what worries people, and how we are encouraged to over analyze every move we make that might have the slightest impact on our kids, it's a wonder that more children don't grow up to be traumatized for life because they have siblings. The way people talk, you would think that only children who didn't have siblings were well adjusted. When I was growing up I wasn't asked my opinion on matters that were of consequence to the entire family. My parents decided everything; what we wore, what we ate, where we went, where we lived , EVERYTHING. I, by no means suggest that I am the most well balanced person, but I am certainly well adjusted and I am quite adept at handling change. Children are resilient and the fact that we decide to have more than one child should be considered more of a gift than something to ask forgiveness over. My siblings and I were not the best of friends growing up; my sister needed me to stay as far away from her and her friends as possible, and my brother and I fought like cats and dogs. Today, I don't know what I would do without them. They are a part of me; their triumphs and defeats affect me deeply. I have been shaped by them. I have learned patience, sharing, kindness, tenderness, love, forgiveness and endurance through my relationship with my siblings. We have been each other's bitter rivals and most vocal supporters. I thank my parents every day for the wonderful gift of siblings.
Wow, that was a mouth full, more on the second class tomorrow. I'm off to bed.

Getting Personal

So some of my friends have categorized me as a blogging bore. They say that my paranoid obsession with not revealing anything about my self is freakish. Although they like the pictures I post, they want more personal pictures, so here it is; my first attempt at personal blogging.

While Marina and I were in Barcelona and Fernando was teaching, my father continued the paper odyssey. He nearly finished it and when we arrived, all I had to do was send the rest of our dossier to Gladney.

The following are some of our Barcelona adventures.

This was our first official meal, and it was absolutely amazing. Luli prepared it, and every one enjoyed it. I know what you are going to say, these are not personal pictures, but they are. And plus I don't know if the people in my pictures want themselves in the pictures.

Here is a picture of the products in La Boqueria in Barcelona. Just look at those mushrooms; a gnome could live in each one!