Kevin & Sam

I woke up early this morning because Fernando and I had made plans to meet with Kevin and Sam at Il Fornaio. After breakfast we had committed to attend the orientation at Heartsent. We figured that if there wasn't a friendship spark, the orientation was the perfect excuse to cut the awkward breakfast short. Well, Fernando overslept so it was Cindy, Marina and me who went to meet this other soon to be parents of an Ethiopian girl.
I wish we could have talked longer! Kevin and Sam are fabulous! not to mention their little boys, who are magical. We got along great, and were happy to find that we have similar ideas about so many topics. I hope they felt the same way. In the end we had to leave quickly without making any real plans to meet again. Next weekend there is some sort of potluck with other soon to be parents of Ethiopian children (should I start a trend of calling us SPECs? I don't like the term adoptive parents: we're just parents), so if we remember to go, we'll see them there.
The orientation at Heartsent was really good. It had a very personal feeling with a video to begin with, and newly united families talking about their experiences.
I'm off to translate some documents.

Bureaucracy

Who knew getting a certified copy of my Mexican birth certificate would be this complicated? I have tried on numerous occasions to get a copy of my birth certificate. I called the Mexican consulate general and they were of no help. I thought that when Cindy was in Mexico City, she could do this for me, but alas she was crazy busy with her students and Mexican governmental offices pretty much are nonexistent for any holy day (in this case; week). So yesterday I decided to try my luck in person. I knew I was taking a chance and that my experience there would be quite different from Fernando's visits to his consulate general (consider the difference in number of Spanish immigrants in L.A. vs. that of Mexican immigrants...staggering), but I ventured anyway. Let me describe the scene: Parking was surprisingly easy, so I was encouraged. As I walked towards the gate, it became clear that there was an entire street economy all based on the needs you might have once you entered the consulate...this typically signals a long wait and unexpected surprises. There was a lunch car selling everything and anything you can imagine in edible goods. There were people selling black ink pens trying to convince anyone that would make eye contact that you couldn't get anything done inside the gates without their pens. There were people asking if we needed help filling the "overly complicated" forms. There were so many people there, I was a little taken aback, but proceeded. Anyway, as soon as the guard took a cursory look in my purse, I was in the gate and told to go up the stairs to the 4th floor (somehow we were already in the third floor so there were not so many stairs...what do the old or disable do?) The 4th floor was EMPTY. Why are there so many people outside if this place is empty? So I tell the lady my issue and she says; "we probably can't help you, but sign in and take a seat." I wait, and wait, and wait. There are people, who work there having casual conversations, going in, taking a seat and having conversations with their buddies. I read, and read, and read. Finally I get called into an office. The man behind the desk greets me, I began telling him what I needed, and suddenly he says; "excuse me." He reaches to his waist, picks up his cell phone (which apparently had been vibrating) and proceeds to have a lengthy conversation about what time he got home last night and how much fun it was and blah, blah, blah. Unbelievable! And I had to sit there and pretend this wasn't bothering me, because he might be able to help me and I don't want to upset him and ruin my chances at getting my birth certificate! After he hangs up he gives me some feeble explanation of his wife, I give him a courtesy laugh and try to move on to business. He explains how the consulate has no way of attaining these documents and I just sit there, quiet, listening. I think that made him a little uncomfortable, because he began to make some phone calls, gave my information to someone and finally said; "call this number next Friday and they will be able to help you." After thanking him profusely for, I don't know what, I left empty handed but oddly accomplished.

My next stop, the county recorders office to pick up a more recent copy of our marriage certificate. That took 3 minutes, $13 and I was on my way with documents in hand.
While I did all this, Fernando had his turn at the CIS fingerprinting, HA!

Maggie is awesome!

Today we met with Maggie (from Heartsent) for our first of three formal home study visits. Maggie is awesome! She made us feel very comfortable. It is evident that she knows what she's doing. When our visit was over both Fernando and I felt like we'd had a great time, conversing with a friend. She never really asked us questions, but led the conversation in the direction she needed. WOW! We spent about an hour and made our appointment for the next visit (at our home).
I am so tired today. I told Fernando that I was going to write this and then head off to bed. He was watching some the game between the Golden State and the Dallas (I have no idea about this stuff), and he switch the channel to, of all things, American Idol. Those of you who know me, know how much I dislike this show. I am embarrassed by it and the fact that so many more people vote for American Idol, than for actual political officials who will affect our lives directly. Now that that is out of the way, the point is that right then the announcer introduced a clip from a singer (a previous winner) who visits orphans in Africa...can you believe that I was crying. I was moved. Especially after the next segment when one of the judges visits some families. I think it's also because I've been reading There is no me without you. And because we are feeling it so close to our home and our hearts. Seeing the little faces of the beautiful African children makes me think that I'm going to want to take them all home when we get to go pick up our little baby girl. Like I promised, I'm off to bed before I fall over from sheer exhaustion and tears.

Back on

Well we played a bit of phone tag, and after a few messages, it seems that we are back on for our home study, with Maggie, for Wednesday afternoon. We are so happy.

Today I got a call from Tonia at Gladney. She was great. She noticed that most of our paperwork is in to them and put me through to Mary so that she could give me some dossier information. I think we're going to try to go through the process on our own, if it goes slower than we think, then we'll rethink our strategy.

I made a few calls today to the Mexican Consulate General, the Secretary of State, and the Los Angeles Vital Records offices. I got all the information I need in order to get things done at each place. We'll see how it goes.

Frustrated

Yesterday we were rescheduled to meet with Maggie and again she cancelled. I know she felt awful, and I know I should be understanding, and when I talked to her I was, however I am somewhat frustrated. The thing is that she does this for a living, so perhaps she doesn't have the sense of urgency that we do. It's kind of like when you call 911 and they tell you to calm down. You are frantic, because you don't live an EMERGENCY every day, in contrast to the 911 operator who deals with at least 15 emergencies an hour. Any way, I'm also in a sense of panic because I want to get our dossier to Ethiopia before the rainy season. It seems that the courts close during the months of August and September. I imagine our baby spending two months of the rainy season away from us...it crushes me when I picture this. Not that she won't be well taken care of, but she won't be home with us.
I heard a story on NPR, during This American Life, about these two men who went through an open adoption. The one telling the story described the moment in which they took the baby home from the hospital. He had envisioned this amazing scene, but the reality was dreadful. It got me thinking...and picturing our baby's mother. I feel for her. I feel lots of things for her. I feel rage against the world for allowing poverty for forcing her to give up her child, for the fact that she is a casualty of the imbalance of wealth..and for so many things, I can't begin to list them all. We have a child that we were able to keep... We will have her child and and we will keep her well. We will love her, and kiss her and raise her to be a caring adult, not just for those around her but for all the world's people. We will honor her culture and ours and we hope that one day mothers aren't forced to give up their children due to poverty.

Cancelled

Yesterday I made arrangements with Wendy to pick up Marina from school when she got her daughter, and take her with them to swimming class. We were scheduled to have our first of three home visit meetings with Maggie (our social worker from Heartsent). As I was getting onto the freeway to make my lunchtime fingerprinting appointment at the El Monte CIS office, I received a call from Maggie asking if we could reschedule for tomorrow. After calling Fernando, I called her back to let her know that was fine. I was a little disappointed, because I want to get EVERYTHING done ALREADY and just wait for our referral. Could I be any more impatient? Anyway, back to CIS. I got to the office (on the second floor of a diminutive strip mall (with no parking!) and the kind security guard informed me that I had to go back to my car to drop off my mobile phone, because they were not allowed inside the office. He gave me a number and I was off. My number was called fairly swiftly and I thought "wow, this is going quite smoothly...I thought too soon. Once my invitation was marked, I was told to wait in the other waiting area (same room with the chairs facing in a different direction) and wait for my same number to be called. The little screen said "160" (the same number than when I took my phone to the car), the number in my hand read "185." I know I shouldn't complain, but this is only an observation...it seems that the people in this office are, most likely, trained with the people from the DMV, because they all seem to walk at the same slow rate, and avoid eye contact with anyone sitting in the waiting area. It is quite difficult not to begin fuming after 30 minutes have passed and the number on the screen is 165. Somehow I kept my spirits up and thought of all the time that I will be waiting for our referral and how this was a good exercise in patience. Once my fingerprints were done I felt an overwhelming sense of relief knowing that this got us closer to bringing our baby home. Fernando will probably go get his fingerprints done at the same place. I will make sure he takes good reading material with him...the two televisions there are not a good way to spend your time.

Immigration!!!

Unbelievable! Our CIS checks cleared only 2 days ago, and today I received notice from them that we have our fingerprinting appointments. They asked for Fernando's proof of residency as part of the approval process. I feel so excited, this process is going very well. I know, I know, we've only just begun, and I should expect lots of bumps in the road ahead, but I can't help feeling optimistic. Today I gave two of my referrals their instructions with FedEx envelopes prepared. I also prepared the paperwork for Marina's pediatrician. Everyone is so wonderfully helpful. Well, I'm off to bed.

Application sent

Today was very busy, I sent in the bulk of the Gladney paperwork. Here are the pictures we sent.

Now I only have to worry about our physicals, Marina's statement of good health from her pediatrician, our 4 references, and forwarding our criminal and child abuse clearance reports from our home study agency. I'm beat!
On Friday the 13 we got our taxes done, and I'm so glad because we got a good return and I was able to send off the first chuck of change to Gladney. There is still so much to do.
For those of you that are members of AAA So Ca Auto Club, you should know that if you become a premier member you get 10 notary signatures per day at no charge. Wow!!
We have to go back to AAA with Marina because we need passport pictures for our Dossier and passports renewals.
Well, I'm off to work on my reports for work, and then off to bed to get at least a couple hours rest.

Obnoxious (I like the way this word sounds)

Today Marina, Fernando and I went to get his fingerprints done at PCC. We then dropped the proof at Heartsent. While there, we notarized our financial statement (by the way, the girls loved the cupcakes from Violet's - the owner told me that she too had adopted internationally!)

Any way, we then had our telephone orientation with Judy. She is so patient and great. She cleared up so much! So, we FedExed our request for application immediately and are eager to begin all our paperwork (yes, I know how obnoxious that sounds).

We also went to Kaiser to find out how to go about the notarizing of our physicals...we have to coordinate with our primary MD and will probably have the notary meet us at the Kaiser office at the time we pick up Fernando's results-in mid May.

In the evening we headed to Santa Monica for a well deserved relaxing time at the beach...the waves were incredible!

On my birthday

Well, today is my birthday and I am happy to report that I have been receiving just what I wanted. Today, Marina and I did the following:

• Went to get coffee and a little something to nibble at, and read Peter Rabbit.
• Went to PCC to get fingerprinted (only me)
• Went to the local library to get a book for Marina
• Went to the bank to get our account verification
• Went to Heartsent to drop off sooooo much
• Went to play with Marina's preschool friends

Now Marina is taking a well deserved nap and I am looking over the ever lasting list of things that I must accomplish...not to mention the beds I should be making and the stuff I should be picking up...more later.

Now it's later. Well, I couldn't stop, so I put together the I-600A and FedExed it. It is now in SunValley, CA (wherever that is). By the time I tried going back to Heartsent (to give them a copy of the I-600A), they had closed...I'll go again tomorrow! (I hope they don't grow sick of me...maybe I'll take them a snack, that always makes people glad to see you).

We went by Borders and picked up The Complete Book of International Adoption. Now I'm off to tuck Marina into bed, read her a couple stories, kiss her good night and think abut the baby who will soon share the excitement of the mundane of our loving home.

Home Study

Today we dropped Marina off at Luke's house (her classmate-whose mother was kind enough to help us; so that we could go to our home study appointment). We met with Kerry for about an hour and she went over the entire process. We are eager to get started with ALL the steps at once. Kerry said it should take about 8 weeks...some how everything takes 8 weeks. She said that as soon as we get all the information from Gladney we can get started with gathering information since we will probably need the same things for Heartsent, and there is no sense in doing double the work. I've made the appointment for my physical and we will be getting our fingerprints on Monday. As I was looking over the list of things we need, it struck me that we already have most of the documents needed.

On another note, I checked the Faulkner and Ethiopia or bust blogs, and they RECEIVED their REFERRALS!!!!!!!! I am so happy for them both. It seems it was about 7 months from the time they began the process. Wow! they are so fortunate to be nearing the finish line. I feel like I'm at the gym locker room changing into my gym clothes as they are changing into their street clothes.

Spring Break

Marina is off from school for two weeks, and Fernando and I are only off for one (the week of the 9th). Fernando took Monday and Tuesday off from work. Today and tomorrow are my days. So here is what Marina and I accomplished today.

• Hand deliver our application for a home study to Heartsent Adoptions Inc.
• Make our 1st appointment with Heartsent (Friday, April 6th @ 1pm)
• Visit the Spanish Consulate General in LA to get certified copies of Fernando's birth certificate.
• Got instructions on how to make our baby legally part of our family under Spanish law (while in Addis Ababa we have to visit the Spanish Embassy - good to know before it was too late).

At this pace, I wonder how much I can get done through Spring Break?